Sakic coming back because he loves him the moolah

I read a lot of stuff each day. It ranges from tons of online content, books and magazines right down to shampoo bottles, licence plates and the back of cereal boxes. Typically, I come across one or two silly things per day. Today, there was just one.

Well, actually it was just that this one raised the bar of silliness higher than Yelena Slesarenko could ever hope to vault over. It was to the point that I felt all other things I read today should be up for a shared Nobel Prize for awesomeness.

Stan Fischler, in his latest Fischler Report, states that the reason Joe Sakic - and Mats Sundin - will be back is "as obvious as a $6 million contract."

"These guys love the moolah – and attention – as much as Sean Avery and Alley Oop Ovechkin."

I threw up a little in my mouth at someone comparing Joe Sakic to Sean Avery in any way. Or someone suggesting that the reason Joe Sakic keeps going is purely financial. Or someone trying to give Ovechkin another lame nickname.

Joe Sakic has earned approximately $6K (that's "K" as in "Kajillion") dollars and could have retired five years ago with more money than he'll ever need. He keeps going, not because he gambles away all his money only to come back on his hands and knees begging for a job while his fans claim him as a the greatest man alive, but because he's a true athlete who will go as long as his body allows him to go.

And does this even mean what he wanted it to mean?

If either of them packs it in, it’ll be the upset of the half-century; roughly equivalent to the shrinking of Patrick Roy’s ego.

Sorry, Stan, but that was Brutal. Yep, with a capital "B".